Relationships and Dating

Seeing as today was my day off, I had much time to think. I was blessed with the opportunity to Skype with one of my friends from middle school today. After meeting in middle school we dated for about three months in high school. Today we recalled upon those days and laughed at how juvenile our feelings were at the time. It made me realize how useless the last heartbreak I went through was. I had dated a different guy for about 15 months and spent every minute possible during that time with him. However, seeing as we both were in high school, I never realized how unrealistic our--or at least what i thought was "our"--intentions were. We had planned out our lives together in a way that I knew deep in the back of my mind was impossible. At the time I told myself that I didn't care because I loved him. Looking back now, I wish there was so much I could have told myself. Taking a step back to the breakup. Everyone was as shocked as I was when he decided to call it off; especially with no valid reason.  "You guys were perfect together." "I thought you guys would get married." "What? But I never saw you two fight." I cannot even count the number of times people told me this. I had nothing to do but agree with them.  The fact is, I NEVER remember us even fighting until we broke up. It made me realize that this was the issue. Arguing and disagreeing is completely normal and healthy in a successful relationship.  We were always trying so hard to please the other that we would just agree even if it put our own feelings/opinions to the side. I never remember him or myself asking the other "What do you think about..." or "How do you feel about...." or even saying "Yes, but I feel this way because..." Throughout dating, it has made me realize that my opinion really matters. Before I was so worried about getting a guy to like me, that I would just agree with them. In the end, this guy that I dated showed me that doing that is not impressive. Being confident in yourself is key. I know this is an abrupt end, and there's much more to stay.

To be continued....

Decrescendo

Sometimes you just have those days that start off great and then through out the day the happiness starts to fade. There's not one pinpointed thing that makes your day go bad, but when you look back through out the course of the day, you see all the little things that added up to make you feel less than pleased at the end of the day. Today was one of those days. It's not like I had a horrible day at work or anything super terrible happened. However, fake people have really been bringing me down today. I guess I'm just letting people who don't matter get into my head. However, it always seems to me that when I need someone in these times, every one hides. I've also noticed that very few people in this world actually want you to be truly happy. Others only want for you what will make them happy. This may be selfish to say, but in the end, it's important to do what is going to make you happy. Also, losing a best friend due to the fact that you have a boyfriend is very eye opening. This may not be the longest post in the world, but it's my blog. Also, I realize it's very scattered, but that's just a look into my mind. It also amazes how some people can act like you never existed. Some days life almost feels like it was a dream. I think back to high school. There was this one friend of mine that I never could be separated from. I was always talking to him one way or another. When he moved to Utah, we lost touch and now I only have one picture that proves that he ever even existed. It's so weird to me that someone that was once such a huge part of my life, doesn't even exist to me anymore. And it's as I never once existed to him. I feel so secluded over here in Florida every once in a while. It's almost as if I don't exist to the people on the other side of the country.  But that's enough for tonight.

Florida.....

So, lately I've come to realize strange things about Florida. Here's just a few that I have come up with:

1. C&H Cane Sugar does not exist here.
2. Neither does Tillamook cheese.
3. Brazilians populate this state or at least the city of Orlando.
4. Nobody's first language is English.
5. Humidity sucks.
6. People here seem to think that California is a completely different country where only Hollywood, San Francisco and LA exist.
7. People working for Disney think it's weird that they've seen more celebrities than I have (because I'm from California).
8. People are shocked that I don't go to the beach everyday back home. It's a three hour drive..... to a cold beach.
9. There are more gay people here than I have met living in California.
10. I feel like a foreigner in my own country.
11. Brazilians really like to chant and have no idea what personal space is.
12. Being 2,400 miles away from your boyfriend and 3,050 miles away from your family is REALLY hard!
13. I am learning that I can do things that people told me would fail.
14. Oh! and cockroaches should NEVER be free range! Only chickens should have that privilege.

There's just a little bit of my life as of lately. On the positive side, Mike and I are doing just as good as ever. We recently celebrated Valentine's Day and his 24th birthday (Feb. 15th) via Facetime--thank goodness for modern technology. I will be sending out gifts to some of my favorite people come Monday. And I cannot wait for the packages to be delivered. I am meeting and working with incredible and hilarious people. I realize some days can be hard, but it's always nice to take a second and laugh at guests who think they run the park. I love when people tell me their child is too short but they ask if they can still ride...... ummmmm.... No. 

So, there's just a little glance into my life as it is here in Florida. Living that Disney lifestyle. Bringing magic into someone's day brings magic into mine. Spread the love!

In Rough Waters

So this week started out terrible. On Monday, there was potential that I was going to be reported for "being rude" by telling a family that other people also book their fast passes before they get to Disney World. To get all that stress off of my mind, I went to the beach on Tuesday and I don't think it could have helped more than it did. It was so beautiful and relaxing. However, I had no idea reality was about to hit me. This week has been harder than ever being away from Mike and my family. Although I feel like I'm beginning to get along with my coworkers, I'm still really struggling to make friends. I'm constantly working 8-12 hour shifts and I'm beyond exhaustion.  Last night there was a special convention at our park with 120 people but only about 25 came through our line in the space of 2 & 1/2 hours.  Those seemed to be some of the longest hours of my shifts to date. To make this week even more eventful, Mike's phone died and crashed. I'm starting to realize just how tough it is to save money and have a good time. I'm not trying to complain, but sometimes it's just better to get everything out in the open. I know many won't see this, but at least it's a way for someone to know how I feel. What I'm struggling with most is being away from Mike. We are missing each other's birthdays and Valentine's Day. It always interests me to see what friends are true friends and how many people forget about you the second that you leave. I find it even more interesting that it's only my friends from church that still talk to me. It just proves that I am nothing with out the church and Christ in my life. Anyway, that's a little dive into how my week has been going. I'm hoping it improves before my day off on Tuesday but we will see.