My Magic Moment

At work, it is my job to make the little girls feel like princesses. Today, the roles were unintentionally reversed. I was unloading a train full of people. And just as I do with any train, I welcomed them back, asked them to watch their step, directed them towards the exit and reminded them to grab all their belongings. To my surprise, a little girl looked directly into my eyes and said thank you. But not just in the "it's the right thing to say" kind of way. She was so grateful for the wonderful time that she had on our ride. Then to my even greater astonishment, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me what felt like the biggest hug a little girl could give. It made me so happy to see that parents are raising their children to love one another and appreciate what others do for them. It also goes to show that we are all living this life and we can all help one another and live life together, or be completely miserable and live life alone.

California

So, I recently went back home to California. I didn't really have anything TOO special planned, but I did know what I wanted to happen.  However, the closer the day approached, the less likely it seemed that I was going to see Mike. Things are not always what they seem though.  I woke up at 5:00 in the morning and got ready to head home. The whole flight I kept arguing with myself in my head about whether or not Mike was going to be able to make the trip out to California by Saturday to be able to see me. I kept thinking, "what if he's at the airport?" but then I would assure myself that I was just getting too excited. Little did I know what he had been planning for over a week and a half. I get off the shuttle and start looking around for my dad. I don't see him anywhere, so I start heading towards the escalators. Just as I'm about to get on, I hear my name. I almost didn't turn around because it wasn't my dad. But, for some reason I did. There I see Mike holding up a sign with my name on it. I could not have been more surprised and happy.

After that, he drove me home where I got to surprise Westley. He thought I wasn't going to be able to see his musical, but I flew home for him. Over the next few days, Mike and I spent time together visiting friends and family, laughing, eating at some of our favorite restaurants, and relaxing with each other. It was by far some of the best surprises of my life and I would never take it back for anything. Here are a few more of the pictures from our time together.

We had so much fun together and are looking forward to the upcoming Spring semester where we will get to spend much more time together.

I feel lovely.

As I've been thinking lately, I've began to realize more and more each day just how blessed I am to have Mike in my life. In my previous relationship--as I mentioned earlier--I felt that I had to be a certain way.  It left me feeling completely empty when we broke up. I realized that I no longer knew who I was because I had changed so much to be the person that he wanted me to be. I never felt 100 percent comfortable being myself. As I went through a very tough breakup, I found myself again. I learned that I really loved who I am. Sure, there are things I need to improve. Nobody's perfect, but I now know that I am perfect for someone. And Mike has helped me to realize this. I NEVER have had to worry about being too silly, stupid, skinny, fat, or too little or too much of anything. He is such a wonderful man and shows me every single day just what loving someone means. I love this song because the woman in this song, begins to realize her self worth. Do NOT EVER let anyone tell you who to be or make you feel bad for being the way you are. Here's the lyrics:

I don't wanna be her

I just want to be little old me

Shouldn't have to think

Who am I suppose to be today

And what give you the right

To tell me who I should be

Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely

Just the way that I am

Yes I feel lovely

The way that I am

I know you want the best

Yeah only good things for me

But you have to realize

I can't be all these things you project on me

Cause I'm beautiful to me

Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely

Just the way that I am

Yes I feel lovely

The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you

Need that to be enough for you

Cause it's enough for me

It's enough for me

Am I suppose to give up everything I am

Just to make you happy

I thought I was the one you

Always wanted me to be

It turns out I'm just little old me

I'm just little old me

And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely

Just the way that I am

Oh yes I am, 

Yes I am lovely

The way that I am

I am lovely lovely

I am lovely

By the end of the song, she realizes that she's good enough and it doesn't matter to her whether anyone else thinks of her. I think that's how we should feel about ourselves. Once we become comfortable with who we are, the perfect person for you will come along. I have learned this. I know it took me time to learn this, but every single day when I talk to Mike, I realize how worth the wait is.  He shows me that I am perfect in the way I am.  Genesis 1:27 reads, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." And since we are created in the image of God, we too were created to become perfect. However, we must do our part to make it happen.

Nights like these...

.... always seem to be the toughest. It's not the fact that "this" or "that" particular thing happened. It's the distance that has really been doing the most damage lately. Not being able to be with you is so frustrating. I just get so upset that I can't spend time with you, and touch you, and hold you or even see you. And I don't mean to, but sometimes I take it out on you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be there, that I get so frustrated and make you feel so bad. Feeling this way makes me numb and nervous and anxious. It sends so much spinning through my head. It makes me want to sleep. It's interesting that it always starts off so good, but then changes to be so different. It's nights like these....