Why I love you.

1. You address me by my name.
2. You treat me with respect.
3. We share similar interests.
4. You are always making me smile.
5. You know exactly how to make me laugh.
6. I can be my silly self with you.
7. We can hold a conversation together.
8. You know when its important to be serious.
9. Your smile makes me smile.
10. You want a family.
11. You are attractive in every way.
12. You take care of me when I need you most.
13. You are patient.
14. You do not judge.
15. You are handsome beyond belief.
16. Everyday I'm with you, I feel like I'm living a fairy tale.
17. You put effort into making our relationship work.
18. Two Words: Long Distance.
19. You talked to me every single day when I was away in Florida.
20. You remember the little things.
21. You let me take as many annoying snapchats, pictures, and videos of you that I want to.
22. You love me with your whole heart.
23. You put 150% into everything you do.
24. You are an extremely hard worker.
25. You want to build a family together.
26. You aren't afraid to show your emotion.
27. You genuinely care for other people.
28. You make me feel calm.
29. You say "I love you." first.
30. You want to share eternity with me. Of all people? ME.
31. You support my decisions even if they aren't the best.
32. You are always putting others first.
33. You amaze me.
34. You are a man.
35. You are committed.
36. You tell me daily how much you love me.
37. You listen to me tell stories and talk about my crazy dreams.
38. You listen to me. Period. No matter what I have to say.
39. You are like my father in all the silliest of ways.
40. You are doing great things with your life.
41. You have great style.
42. You respect women. Not just me, but all women.
43. We argue. Even though it sucks at the time, we work it out.
44. You accept me for who I am.
45. You fall in love with me more and more every time you see me.
46. You know what you want in life.
47. You work to accomplish your goals.
48. You are a great role model and example for my brothers.
49. You fight for us.
50. You fight for me.
51. You are willing to stick up for me.
52. You never put me down.
53. You make sure to never bring me down, and always lift me up.
54. You have a strong testimony.
55. You pray for others even when angry/frustrated with them.
56. You keep calm.
57. You listen to me sing non-stop and never complain.
58. You appreciate the little things.
59. You put up with my craziness when I'm tired.
60. You are the ONLY man that has ever made me cry happy tears.
61. We share the same values.
62. We value the same things.
63. You care about what I want in life.
64. Not one day goes by, that you don't make me smile.
65. You do not shy away from talking about the serious things.
66. You aren't perfect.
67. You protect me from danger.
68. You are always willing to talk out a fight.
69. You laugh harder at your own jokes than at mine. Even when they aren't funny.
70. You communicate with me about what we want together in our future.
71. You are completely selfless.
72. You make the silliest faces.
73. You look at me like no one else exists.
74. You dance with me.
75. You appreciate what I do.
76. You serve me and others constantly.
77. You made me happy again.
78. You are dedicated to everything you do.
79. You make every single road trip interesting.
80. You frustrate me more than anyone I've ever met, but you are ALWAYS willing to stop the fight.
81. You are extremely humble.
82. You value the friendships you have.
83. When we don't know what to do, you come up with the best ideas.
84. You have never once made me question your love.
85. You are the silliest man I've met.
86. You watch the dumbest movies with me just because I want to.
87. You get so excited over the smallest things.
88. You support me in every way.
89. You put forth an effort to see me every day.
90. You like cooking with me.
91. You always eat what I make without complaining.
92. You always make cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood.
93. You don't run away from me when I'm sick.
94. You always make sure I'm not starving.
95. You put up with my dumb tv shows.
96. You got me excited about sports again.
97. Because of you, I finally have a favorite baseball and football team.
98. You like what I like.
99. You changed my life.
100. You are the one.

Why working as a janitor strengthened my testimony.....

I am currently employed basically as a janitor of a call center. Although the job is not the most enjoyable or glamorous, I am grateful for the time I get to spend by myself and reflect daily. Yesterday I was cleaning the men's restroom (which always is the worst part of work). I began to notice throughout the course of this week that the women's restroom was always much cleaner than the men's. At first I was super annoyed that men couldn't clean up after themselves. Then I began to think about how it is God's law for men and women to get married. Many would say that it is a coincidence, but it is honestly such a divine and perfectly executed plan. Just as women need men to support and protect their families, men need women to nurture and care for theirs. Cleaning re-iterated the Plan of Salvation to me and made me remember how important not only marriage, but eternal marriage is for us. I love how I am quietly reminded that the gospel is the best thing that I could be doing in my life.

Back in the Burg

       I'm BACK! Finally!

And I could not be happier. Things are going so well! Seeing everyone and being back around Mike is incredible! Not only that, but I got a job! I'm still looking for a job during the day, so if you are aware of anywhere hiring, that would be great! Things are going so well in my life. It makes me realize how everything that I have gone through is finally worth it. If you would have asked me a year ago, if I would be this happy and this in love I would have laughed directly in your face. It always amazes that one person can have such a large impact on your life. I've also learned, that no matter how in love you think you are with someone in high school, it's only high school. True love and so many life experiences await you in the real world. And it's okay to be sad and miss what you had with that person, for a time. But, you need to pick yourself up and move past that. The sooner you do, the happier you'll be. It may have taken me a while to realize it, but I could not be happier that I did. I feel like Mike was placed into my life at the perfect time. It is truly incredible how aware God is of what we're going through and how he intertwines our lives together just at the time we need each other most to benefit each other as much as possible. I never thought I would marry someone like my father and now that it's happening, I feel like I'm in the best dream of my life. I cannot wait to start a family with Mike and share everything I have to give with him. He is beyond the best man that I could have imagined. He makes me smile and laugh countless times everyday. So here's to us.... 

I did it!

I don't know if I could say I had the time of my life, but I met some incredible people and had a great time. The Disney college program may not have changed my life, but it changed the fact of who I knew before and after I did it. When I went in, I was expecting a much more positive experience. Who knew that people on vacation could be so angry at Disney World? Although you can capture moments in a picture, you can never truly capture the experience, or the feelings. I love the opportunity I was given, but I am more than pleased I am away from the fake people.

My Magic Moment

At work, it is my job to make the little girls feel like princesses. Today, the roles were unintentionally reversed. I was unloading a train full of people. And just as I do with any train, I welcomed them back, asked them to watch their step, directed them towards the exit and reminded them to grab all their belongings. To my surprise, a little girl looked directly into my eyes and said thank you. But not just in the "it's the right thing to say" kind of way. She was so grateful for the wonderful time that she had on our ride. Then to my even greater astonishment, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me what felt like the biggest hug a little girl could give. It made me so happy to see that parents are raising their children to love one another and appreciate what others do for them. It also goes to show that we are all living this life and we can all help one another and live life together, or be completely miserable and live life alone.

California

So, I recently went back home to California. I didn't really have anything TOO special planned, but I did know what I wanted to happen.  However, the closer the day approached, the less likely it seemed that I was going to see Mike. Things are not always what they seem though.  I woke up at 5:00 in the morning and got ready to head home. The whole flight I kept arguing with myself in my head about whether or not Mike was going to be able to make the trip out to California by Saturday to be able to see me. I kept thinking, "what if he's at the airport?" but then I would assure myself that I was just getting too excited. Little did I know what he had been planning for over a week and a half. I get off the shuttle and start looking around for my dad. I don't see him anywhere, so I start heading towards the escalators. Just as I'm about to get on, I hear my name. I almost didn't turn around because it wasn't my dad. But, for some reason I did. There I see Mike holding up a sign with my name on it. I could not have been more surprised and happy.

After that, he drove me home where I got to surprise Westley. He thought I wasn't going to be able to see his musical, but I flew home for him. Over the next few days, Mike and I spent time together visiting friends and family, laughing, eating at some of our favorite restaurants, and relaxing with each other. It was by far some of the best surprises of my life and I would never take it back for anything. Here are a few more of the pictures from our time together.

We had so much fun together and are looking forward to the upcoming Spring semester where we will get to spend much more time together.

I feel lovely.

As I've been thinking lately, I've began to realize more and more each day just how blessed I am to have Mike in my life. In my previous relationship--as I mentioned earlier--I felt that I had to be a certain way.  It left me feeling completely empty when we broke up. I realized that I no longer knew who I was because I had changed so much to be the person that he wanted me to be. I never felt 100 percent comfortable being myself. As I went through a very tough breakup, I found myself again. I learned that I really loved who I am. Sure, there are things I need to improve. Nobody's perfect, but I now know that I am perfect for someone. And Mike has helped me to realize this. I NEVER have had to worry about being too silly, stupid, skinny, fat, or too little or too much of anything. He is such a wonderful man and shows me every single day just what loving someone means. I love this song because the woman in this song, begins to realize her self worth. Do NOT EVER let anyone tell you who to be or make you feel bad for being the way you are. Here's the lyrics:

I don't wanna be her

I just want to be little old me

Shouldn't have to think

Who am I suppose to be today

And what give you the right

To tell me who I should be

Who gave you that right

Cause I, I feel lovely

Just the way that I am

Yes I feel lovely

The way that I am

I know you want the best

Yeah only good things for me

But you have to realize

I can't be all these things you project on me

Cause I'm beautiful to me

Doesn't that mean a thing

I feel lovely

Just the way that I am

Yes I feel lovely

The way that I am

I need that to be enough for you

Need that to be enough for you

Cause it's enough for me

It's enough for me

Am I suppose to give up everything I am

Just to make you happy

I thought I was the one you

Always wanted me to be

It turns out I'm just little old me

I'm just little old me

And that's fine by me

Cause I, I am lovely

Just the way that I am

Oh yes I am, 

Yes I am lovely

The way that I am

I am lovely lovely

I am lovely

By the end of the song, she realizes that she's good enough and it doesn't matter to her whether anyone else thinks of her. I think that's how we should feel about ourselves. Once we become comfortable with who we are, the perfect person for you will come along. I have learned this. I know it took me time to learn this, but every single day when I talk to Mike, I realize how worth the wait is.  He shows me that I am perfect in the way I am.  Genesis 1:27 reads, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." And since we are created in the image of God, we too were created to become perfect. However, we must do our part to make it happen.

Nights like these...

.... always seem to be the toughest. It's not the fact that "this" or "that" particular thing happened. It's the distance that has really been doing the most damage lately. Not being able to be with you is so frustrating. I just get so upset that I can't spend time with you, and touch you, and hold you or even see you. And I don't mean to, but sometimes I take it out on you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't be there, that I get so frustrated and make you feel so bad. Feeling this way makes me numb and nervous and anxious. It sends so much spinning through my head. It makes me want to sleep. It's interesting that it always starts off so good, but then changes to be so different. It's nights like these....

Relationships and Dating

Seeing as today was my day off, I had much time to think. I was blessed with the opportunity to Skype with one of my friends from middle school today. After meeting in middle school we dated for about three months in high school. Today we recalled upon those days and laughed at how juvenile our feelings were at the time. It made me realize how useless the last heartbreak I went through was. I had dated a different guy for about 15 months and spent every minute possible during that time with him. However, seeing as we both were in high school, I never realized how unrealistic our--or at least what i thought was "our"--intentions were. We had planned out our lives together in a way that I knew deep in the back of my mind was impossible. At the time I told myself that I didn't care because I loved him. Looking back now, I wish there was so much I could have told myself. Taking a step back to the breakup. Everyone was as shocked as I was when he decided to call it off; especially with no valid reason.  "You guys were perfect together." "I thought you guys would get married." "What? But I never saw you two fight." I cannot even count the number of times people told me this. I had nothing to do but agree with them.  The fact is, I NEVER remember us even fighting until we broke up. It made me realize that this was the issue. Arguing and disagreeing is completely normal and healthy in a successful relationship.  We were always trying so hard to please the other that we would just agree even if it put our own feelings/opinions to the side. I never remember him or myself asking the other "What do you think about..." or "How do you feel about...." or even saying "Yes, but I feel this way because..." Throughout dating, it has made me realize that my opinion really matters. Before I was so worried about getting a guy to like me, that I would just agree with them. In the end, this guy that I dated showed me that doing that is not impressive. Being confident in yourself is key. I know this is an abrupt end, and there's much more to stay.

To be continued....

Decrescendo

Sometimes you just have those days that start off great and then through out the day the happiness starts to fade. There's not one pinpointed thing that makes your day go bad, but when you look back through out the course of the day, you see all the little things that added up to make you feel less than pleased at the end of the day. Today was one of those days. It's not like I had a horrible day at work or anything super terrible happened. However, fake people have really been bringing me down today. I guess I'm just letting people who don't matter get into my head. However, it always seems to me that when I need someone in these times, every one hides. I've also noticed that very few people in this world actually want you to be truly happy. Others only want for you what will make them happy. This may be selfish to say, but in the end, it's important to do what is going to make you happy. Also, losing a best friend due to the fact that you have a boyfriend is very eye opening. This may not be the longest post in the world, but it's my blog. Also, I realize it's very scattered, but that's just a look into my mind. It also amazes how some people can act like you never existed. Some days life almost feels like it was a dream. I think back to high school. There was this one friend of mine that I never could be separated from. I was always talking to him one way or another. When he moved to Utah, we lost touch and now I only have one picture that proves that he ever even existed. It's so weird to me that someone that was once such a huge part of my life, doesn't even exist to me anymore. And it's as I never once existed to him. I feel so secluded over here in Florida every once in a while. It's almost as if I don't exist to the people on the other side of the country.  But that's enough for tonight.

Florida.....

So, lately I've come to realize strange things about Florida. Here's just a few that I have come up with:

1. C&H Cane Sugar does not exist here.
2. Neither does Tillamook cheese.
3. Brazilians populate this state or at least the city of Orlando.
4. Nobody's first language is English.
5. Humidity sucks.
6. People here seem to think that California is a completely different country where only Hollywood, San Francisco and LA exist.
7. People working for Disney think it's weird that they've seen more celebrities than I have (because I'm from California).
8. People are shocked that I don't go to the beach everyday back home. It's a three hour drive..... to a cold beach.
9. There are more gay people here than I have met living in California.
10. I feel like a foreigner in my own country.
11. Brazilians really like to chant and have no idea what personal space is.
12. Being 2,400 miles away from your boyfriend and 3,050 miles away from your family is REALLY hard!
13. I am learning that I can do things that people told me would fail.
14. Oh! and cockroaches should NEVER be free range! Only chickens should have that privilege.

There's just a little bit of my life as of lately. On the positive side, Mike and I are doing just as good as ever. We recently celebrated Valentine's Day and his 24th birthday (Feb. 15th) via Facetime--thank goodness for modern technology. I will be sending out gifts to some of my favorite people come Monday. And I cannot wait for the packages to be delivered. I am meeting and working with incredible and hilarious people. I realize some days can be hard, but it's always nice to take a second and laugh at guests who think they run the park. I love when people tell me their child is too short but they ask if they can still ride...... ummmmm.... No. 

So, there's just a little glance into my life as it is here in Florida. Living that Disney lifestyle. Bringing magic into someone's day brings magic into mine. Spread the love!

In Rough Waters

So this week started out terrible. On Monday, there was potential that I was going to be reported for "being rude" by telling a family that other people also book their fast passes before they get to Disney World. To get all that stress off of my mind, I went to the beach on Tuesday and I don't think it could have helped more than it did. It was so beautiful and relaxing. However, I had no idea reality was about to hit me. This week has been harder than ever being away from Mike and my family. Although I feel like I'm beginning to get along with my coworkers, I'm still really struggling to make friends. I'm constantly working 8-12 hour shifts and I'm beyond exhaustion.  Last night there was a special convention at our park with 120 people but only about 25 came through our line in the space of 2 & 1/2 hours.  Those seemed to be some of the longest hours of my shifts to date. To make this week even more eventful, Mike's phone died and crashed. I'm starting to realize just how tough it is to save money and have a good time. I'm not trying to complain, but sometimes it's just better to get everything out in the open. I know many won't see this, but at least it's a way for someone to know how I feel. What I'm struggling with most is being away from Mike. We are missing each other's birthdays and Valentine's Day. It always interests me to see what friends are true friends and how many people forget about you the second that you leave. I find it even more interesting that it's only my friends from church that still talk to me. It just proves that I am nothing with out the church and Christ in my life. Anyway, that's a little dive into how my week has been going. I'm hoping it improves before my day off on Tuesday but we will see.

Disney World

So a little updating on my life is in order. After my last post I realized that I had been accepted into the Walt Disney World College Program.  I am currently in the state of Florida working in Disney's Animal Kingdom.  I work in the land of Asia at the ride Expedition Everest. I also started dating the most amazing man that I could ever ask for, Mike Flagg.  We began dating on December 4th and have been spending as much time together as possible ever since. I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to spend Christmas and New Year's with him. To begin with, we drove from school to Redding where I'm from and spent Christmas there with my family. After that, we traveled to Las Vegas, Nevada--where he is from--to spend New Year's with his family. Unfortunately, I had to return home to California so that I could get ready to travel to Florida and work for Disney. It amazes me every single day how blessed I am to have such a caring, sweet, patient man in my life.  Although its tough being away from him right now, I realize how much greater it is going to be once we are reunited. I look forward to the day I get to see him again and cannot wait to spend so many more adventures and laughs with him.

We always have the most amazing times together and he always keeps me laughing. Being in Florida has been going pretty well so far. Turns out that I work for one of the most popular rides at Disney's Animal Kingdom. As much as I am loving it here, I am hoping it hurries by so that I can spend time with Mike again.

So there's a little update on my life. I'm hoping to be able to update this more often.